Skip to main content

Fighting With Being Alone

Alone,lonely,lost,pain....just this words scares me to heights. Being alone & being in pain is the worst thing in life.i suspect the pain of being alone is a universal human experience. Unfortunately, no relationship can relieve the pain of being permanently alone. Even in the best of relationships, there always comes a time when our friends, family, and partners are not available and we are alone. If we seek out relationships or stay in relationships because we can't deal with being alone, the time we are in fact alone can be unbearably painful. And the time we are with someone will be bittersweet because we will know on some level that we will be alone again soon.
Though my interpretation of being alone is much more than what anyone can think of(people around me will never come to terms when i say iam alone...!)
Fear of being alone can make you feel very insecure. When we are alone we tend to feel as if we need to be around people at all the times. Fear of being alone can be caused by many kinds of things. For me it is being away from my large family, lots of friends but also from my loved one's who always made me comfortable in every sense, they made me feel that they have understood me but does really anyone in world totally understand another person...well that a strange question but no one can understand himself/herself leave alone understand by others...!
The physical & mental pain we under go when we are alone cant not be described in words but as said its a part of life and we need to get along with all.I have experieced the pain coming from stomach with un-explanable feeling,a feeling where all nerves pull up with strength saying & making you feel alone...! Frankly from the time i came to US my experiment with all the emotions of life have been explored a lot.
Being alone fills mind with many negative things,it affects our behavior or even numbs out our memory but the challenge is how we fight this loneliness.For me it was always reading & writing but my suggestion for those who really need to cope up with being left out :
1. Stop doing all of the behaviors that help you avoid being alone.
2. Feel your feelings and know they are only feelings.
3. Continue to not do behaviors that stop the feelings of being alone.
4. Practice self care -- sleep, eat, exercise, read, talk to yourself gently.
5. Know the feelings will pass and you will be a stronger, more resilient, more powerful person on the other end.
6. Trust yourself and your own ability to take care of yourself.
Of course to feel healthy and well we all need people in our life, but if you feel this way, we are restricting our self by saying we need to have people around all the time then this need is controlling us. This controlling part has to be cut out and yeah the point where iam loosing out is here...here is where i need to start growing, a stage where iam stuck at present.
My blogs,my writing may inspire someone but i hope it does the same to me someday...!!!!!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Very nice post man. I worked from home for 1.5 years, so I know how bad loneliness can be!
Arvind said…
Dude it’s your inspiration...thks for the update :-)
Unknown said…
Hey Buddy why one should feel alone.When you are alone just feel that all your dearones (family r friends) are along vth you.Thoughts of our past time spent vth them makes us more closer to them.we are never alone.when we are vth family and friends we njoy their relation.when we are alone v should njoy the thoughts.
Ramya Harika said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
Nice post, Arvind. I’m someone that believes that no one's experience is more or less valid than another, rather, serves it’s own purpose and incorporates itself into your identity.
Loneliness is a feeling I’m all too familiar with. Even after a spending a day out with friends or partying or even after going to collage, I always sort of went back to my hom feeling alone.
I think that we all have the an ego that serves as the guardian mechanism that defines the bounderies of our identity – ensuring we don’t identify too much with objects and things outside of ourselves. Yet, we yearn for someone to empathize us, to be a witness to our lives, and loves us for who we are. Loneliness in this instance is the inner self crying out against the ego.Ater reading this i seriously feel i should rethink abou my US plans!!!! ... Its really inspiring ......... guess it could be of some help to people out there who just feel the same way as u feel alone.....n lonely.
Anonymous said…
I liked your suggestions on what to really do when feeling alone. Yes we need not run from pain. We need to feel that .. It gives/shows us how much we can handle and stay calm . People may come and go in our lives but our soul always stays with us. Need to learn and understand the only shadow with in ourselves.

I have been to this lonliness for almost 10 years.. I stopped complaining and started living and adjusting to this. Now I am not sure when someone sits next to me every day I be happy or surprised or different. Suffering lonliness and pain for so long makes us too strong mentally that we close our heart and mind and open up .. Its like a bad addiction.. I would say .. understand your pain.. understand your emotions in pain .. try to go and accept this as a phase in life or shade of grey in life..
Shraddha parpalli said…
I guess, coping this transaction is offcos very challenging and may at times we give up by questioning our purpose. But I would definitely add by saying if we conquer this feelling, then it's very beautiful and peaceful with no expectations.

Popular posts from this blog

Broken Pieces

My dear in every room of our time together there is a box, for all the memories that we shared together, now it is the time to pack away those beautiful memories, with lot of sadness,pain and with lot of care. The first one is a simple & yet beautiful smile, whenever i was thinking about you, i tired to neatly fold into four, and that's the best that thing which I could do. Next are all the memories & moments spend with you, of the times when we were two & spent time together, wrapped with lots of love one by one, and is sealed with tears as glue. And then there are the butterflies all around, which I had when you were near & close, and now they are trapped in a cage of sadness & in dark, and locked up with a tear. Next are the times we kissed & looked into each other eyes, each of which are now wrapped with a sigh, placed next to a rolled up list, of all the times I've asked myself why.....why this separation? Now had to pack a

ISKON Temple Visit

Am a very ordinary person to write about Krsna & his leela. Iam not a great devotee of Krsna but my visit to west virgina & burnaby ISKON(The International Society for Krishna Consciousness ) temples made me attract towards the lordship of universe ie. Krsna. A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada is the founder acharya of the hare krishna movement, even though i have a half baked knowledge about the guru, his life is inspiring for lakhs of devotees across to world. The temple, like the other shrines of ISKON, has been constructed with the prime mission of spreading the messages encapsulated in Bhagwad Gita, the sacred book of the Hindus.Numerous Krishna devotees from across the globe flock to different ISKON temples to soothe themselves in the holy sanctum. The first time when I went along with my parents & my elder brother my heart was filled with over joyful happiness listening to kirtans, pravachans and aartis performed by the temple ,which are particularly attended by dev

Port Lavaca!

T oday as i was stepping out of a beautiful & my comfortable zone of Port Lavaca many things have crossed in my heart for one the most satisfying & also peaceful places in last 15 yrs of me being part nomadic life...Life does give chance to experience if only we stretch our arms to accept and explore new changes. The last 6yrs has been difficult for me with constant travel, changing places, getting accommodative to new environment and people. And also, a huge burden of endless pain i was thrown into Just when i thought life is constant fluid, i got rediscovered myself in this amazing & truly a cinematic experience of living in Port Lavaca. I met some amazingly good friends & even more looking life on bright side with what GOD has given us! Port Lavaca has offered me many moments to cherish, all the evenings gazing the amazingly beautiful sun sets and raising has given me a sense of calmness which i was longing for! It’s hard to begin with where to start and end